In Other News

Mitch McConnell Grows a Conscience?

In a man-bites-dog moment, Mitch McConnell stole a march on Donald J. Trump by scheduling an early Senate Majority Leader election without consulting Trump. 

Spiting Trump’s tantrum du jour, the top candidates are McConnell’s posse, John Thune and John Cornyn. Not an obvious Trump lickspittal in sight. Worryingly, though, is that Rick Scott, our notorious Medicare fraudster cum Governor cum Senator of Retirement USA is also on the list.

This development interrupted King Donald’s task of busily lining up the new battalion of sycophants for plum jobs of questionable longevity as we know that a staffer’s head rolls when said staffer upstages Donald. 

The Donald might also have been caught off guard while looking at his new digs. He could have big plans for the White House property, expecting to inhabit it for the rest of his life because, as we know, we no longer have to bother with voting. That’s so old hat. We no longer need to research candidates or even leave that to hubby. Or vote on a heads or tails basis. Nor must we suffer endless pleas for money. 

Maybe Donald was planning on adding gold leaf to several rooms in the residential quarters. Or he could have been looking at the acreage to locate a nice putting green. Who knows? Never question the plantation master. No doubt he intends to slap on a gold tinged Trump sign over the White House front door, tear out the gardens, and construct a 9-hole course. 

Did he keep those Trump signs over the Taj Mahal or the old Federal Post Office? Well, never mind. He has the country’s vast resources to tap to buy a new one. 

Anyway, he’s now in full dudgeon as are Tucker Carlson and Laura Loomer who are tarring and feathering Mitch for stealing MAGA thunder. It’s anyone’s guess how far down these two are on Donald’s list of lackeys. Funny that as last I heard, Tucker hates The Donald. MAGA relationships are hard to navigate when the chief’s skin is paper thin. 

Suddenly we have an early, unexpected Christmas present – a fight by the Senate to clip Donald’s fantasies for the moment and maybe ruin some of Project 2025’s outline for our benighted future. 

Well, a girl can dream.

Still, Mitch, it’s a late offering to the aged body of Uncle Sam after you pilfered every candle of democracy while that old man still breathes for the moment. The prognosis, though, is grim. That old man has only a couple of months more before breathing his last.