Oh, Canada

We Want In, Too

To the Editor (of the Rossland News located in British Columbia).

“Hi there,

I read of Green Party Member Elizabeth May's invitation to the West Coastal U.S. States to join Canada.

I'm feeling left out.

I live in XXXXXXX, NY, a wee town in the XXXXXXXXXX in New York State. I wanted to comment directly under your story about Ms. May's invitation but that was a no-go.

So here's my pitch.

Please invade us in the Northeast Coast of the U.S. - specifically New York State, New England, New Jersey, Delaware, and possibly Maryland - the latter's not yet reliably Democratic Party territory. Later, you could invade Virginia and North Carolina provisionally upon satisfaction that they treat their citizenry to a first class education and all the equal rights possible.

None of this "identity politics" that our Founders enshrined in the Constitution giving the catbird seat to rich, white, landed males enjoying the same creature comforts the delegates enjoyed.

Why give all the fun to the West Coast? I'm not disparaging them. No. I want to join them and you.

Thank you for considering this modest proposal.

Wishing you and all of Canada great happiness, health, and prosperity and sticking to your guns against the orange menace below you and us.”

Very truly yours….

Yeah. I sent it stat.